Being an 18 year old and experiencing your first kiss only then, is embarrassing but that’s what happened to me. I always dreamt of having this perfect kiss and I think EVERY girl dreams of the same thing and people even have kisses but still won’t classify them as their “first kiss” just because it wasn’t ” good enough “, like what does that even mean?! First kisses are supposed to be awkward, weird and everything else that can possible just mean BAD! My first kiss however was not that bad or at least I thought it wasn’t that bad…but I’m sure if I had done it earlier just to get it over with, it would’ve been far worse.
So why did it take me so long to kiss someone? Im an average looking girl with kind of big boobs so yeah I’m not saying I had a line of guys waiting outside my door but there were a few guys interested in me and I was interested but I always thought even if it is just a kiss, I wanted it to be with an actual “good” guy and not just an asshole I would kiss and get it over with you know. So yeah I waited and during the third week of university it happened and yeah I was happy and all until the guy said he wanted to “explore” and at first I was like ” O M G! How dare you?! ” and all that but now that I think of it, I’m in first year of university and it has literally been four weeks of university! Hell I should be exploring!
I always thought ” my first kiss ” would be with someone that would be apart of my future but apparently not, even though he was a good guy and I do not regret it but life doesn’t always work out the way you plan it and you kind of just have to accept it. I know I’m trying to.
And also I know I said it was embarrassing that I had my first kiss at 18, but fuck that! Honestly my first kiss would’ve been terrible if I had done it earlier! That fact didn’t make my friends think any different of me, the guy didn’t seem to mind. The insecurity all came from within and most people won’t care as well, its just when you’re placed in a group, people don’t think as individuals, they think as a group and each person is influenced by their peer so basically it is peer pressure and one’s thoughts are manipulated by what the other is thinking and again I AM GUILTY OF THAT. So even if your friends think that is embarrassing, either they’re not very good friends and they can’t think for themselves. That is the ugly truth.